A Reflection on Conversations & Discussions

As someone from Brunei currently living and studying in Japan, I have become more aware of how conversations and discussions can be very different depending on culture. In this week's lesson about "Conversation & Discussion", I reflected on my own communication style and compared it with what I have experienced in Japan and with other students from different countries.

Personally, I enjoy talking about many different topics, especially fashion, hobbies, internet content, arts, and pop culture. I am generally open to discussing many topics except politics, as political discussions can sometimes become sensitive or uncomfortable. I also prefer conversations where both people actively share their thoughts and experiences. For example, if someone asks whether I have a part-time job, I would naturally give a more detailed answer rather than simply saying "no". I enjoy keeping conversations going because it helps people connect better and understand each other more deeply.

One thing I noticed is that conversations in Brunei are often warm, expressive, and friendly, especially among younger people. It is common to ask personal questions or share stories to build closeness. In contrast, many conversations in Japan can feel more reserved at first. Japanese communication often values harmony, politeness, and avoiding conflict. According to Hall (1976), Japan is considered a high-context culture where people rely heavily on indirect communication and social cues. Brunei also shares some similarities as an Asian collectivist society; however, based on my personal experience, Bruneians tend to be more open and expressive in casual conversations. Hofstede (2011) also explains that many Asian societies emphasize collectivist values, where maintaining relationships and group harmony is considered important.

Another interesting point is how people react to disagreements. If someone strongly disagrees with my opinion, I am usually open to hearing different perspectives rather than feeling offended. I believe discussions become more meaningful when people can respectfully exchange opinions. However, in Japan, open disagreement may sometimes be avoided to maintain group harmony. According to Sugimoto (2021), Japanese society places strong importance on social harmony and indirect communication, which influences how people express disagreement during conversations and discussions. In addition, Meyer (2014) explains that communication styles can differ greatly across cultures, with some cultures preferring more direct discussions while others value indirect and harmony-focused communication. This difference made me realize how culture shapes the way people communicate and express themselves.

I also reflected on uncomfortable situations during conversations. For me, long silences can feel awkward, and I dislike it when people interrupt or show no interest while someone is speaking, such as scrolling on their phone. I think active listening is a basic form of respect. At the same time, I understand that eye contact preferences can differ across cultures. Some people in Japan may avoid prolonged eye contact because it can feel intimidating or impolite, whereas moderate eye contact is generally more common and accepted in Brunei. According to Davies and Ikeno (2002), Japanese communication styles are often shaped by social awareness and consideration for other people’s feelings, which may explain why some forms of non-verbal communication, such as eye contact, can differ culturally.

Overall, this lesson showed me how strongly culture influences the way people communicate and interact with others. Conversations and discussions are shaped by personal experiences, values, and social expectations. By comparing communication styles in Brunei and Japan, I became more aware of how people express themselves differently depending on their cultural background. This experience has taught me the importance of being open-minded, respectful, and adaptable when interacting with others. It has also helped me appreciate both the warmth and openness often found in Bruneian conversations and the politeness and social awareness commonly valued in Japanese communication.


References

Davies, R. J., & Ikeno, O. (Eds.). (2002). The Japanese Mind: Understanding Contemporary Japanese Culture. Tuttle Publishing. 

Hall, E. T. (1976). Beyond Culture. Anchor Books. https://monoskop.org/images/6/60/Hall_Edward_T_Beyond_Culture.pdf

Hofstede, G. (2011). Dimensionalizing cultures: The Hofstede model in context. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture, 2(1). https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1014&context=orpc

Meyer, E. (2014). The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business. PublicAffairs. https://www.cag.edu.tr/uploads/site/lecturer-files/erin-meyer-the-culture-map-breaking-through-the-invisible-boundaries-of-global-business-publicaffairs-2014-pdf-eR38.pdf

Sugimoto, Y. (2021). An Introduction to Japanese Society (5th ed.). Cambridge University Press. https://assets.cambridge.org/97811087/24746/frontmatter/9781108724746_frontmatter.pdf

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