An Intercultural Perspective of Inviting Guests

Before this academic semester, I lived with my parents and siblings in Brunei. Since Brunei has a strong family-oriented culture, relatives often visited our home during gatherings and celebrations, while my friends also came over for dinners, catch-up sessions, and board games. Sometimes neighbours would also casually drop by, especially during festive seasons such as Chinese New Year, to give gifts, snacks, or food as a way of strengthening community relationships and showing kindness. Personally, I enjoy spending time with people both at home and in public places because each environment has different advantages. Spending time at home feels more private and comfortable, while cafés and restaurants are more convenient.

From my experience, the culture of inviting guests in Brunei and Japan shares many similarities, especially in the importance of respect, hospitality, and building relationships. In both cultures, hosts try to make guests feel welcomed and comfortable. Bringing small gifts such as omiyage is also seen as a sign of gratitude and respect. Similarly, in Brunei, it is considered polite to bring snacks, desserts, drinks, or small gifts when visiting someone’s house. This shows appreciation toward the host and helps strengthen relationships.

Another similarity is the practice of removing shoes before entering the house. In Japanese culture, guests usually take off their shoes at the entrance to maintain cleanliness and show respect to the household. Bruneian culture is very similar in this aspect because guests are also expected to remove their shoes before entering someone’s home. This practice shows respect toward the host and helps maintain cleanliness in the home.

In both Japan and Brunei, gatherings and shared meals are important ways to strengthen relationships. However, there are also many differences between the two cultures. In Brunei, invitations are usually casual, flexible, and warm. Family members and close friends are often welcome even without a formal invitation. Gatherings are lively and relaxed because people enjoy talking, laughing, eating together, and playing games. I personally enjoy inviting my friends over because it creates a comfortable and relaxed environment. Since many restaurants and cafés in Brunei close before midnight, homes become an important place for late-night conversations and bonding sessions with friends and family.

In contrast, Japanese culture places a stronger emphasis on politeness, indirect communication, and consideration for others. According to the additional reading materials, Japanese people often avoid causing inconvenience to others, so invitations may be more subtle or indirect compared to Brunei. The concept of omoiyari (consideration for others) is very important in Japanese society. Japanese people also value social harmony and often "read the air" (kuuki wo yomu) through unspoken social cues. In Brunei, invitations and social interactions are generally more casual, warm, and relaxed, especially among family members and close friends.

Another difference I noticed is that Japanese people tend to socialize outside rather than at home. From the video, I learned that many Japanese people do not frequently invite others to their homes because they may feel stressed about cleaning the house, preparing the space properly, or maintaining privacy (Jade Does Her Best, 2022). Homes are often viewed as more personal and private spaces in Japan. Instead, many people prefer meeting at cafés, restaurants, or izakayas. This is quite different from my own culture. As a Bruneian, I often invite my friends over to eat, play board games, and spend time together. My family is very welcoming to guests, and we enjoy having people over. In Brunei, inviting friends and relatives into the home is a normal and meaningful way to strengthen friendships and family relationships.

Another important cultural difference is punctuality. In Japan, arriving on time is considered very important and respectful. In Brunei, people are usually more relaxed about time during social gatherings, especially among close friends and family members. Additionally, Japanese culture places great importance on harmony, group consensus, and respect for hierarchy, while Bruneian social gatherings are generally more casual and flexible (Hofstede, 2011).

Overall, learning about the intercultural perspectives of inviting guests helped me understand how culture shapes communication and relationships. Although Brunei and Japan both value kindness, respect, and hospitality, the way these values are expressed can be different. Understanding these cultural differences helps people communicate more respectfully and avoid misunderstandings.



References

Hofstede, G. (2011). Dimensionalizing Cultures: The Hofstede Model in Context. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture.

Jade Does Her Best. (2022, July 7). Why don’t Japanese people invite you to their houses? [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8m00zIX_wNI 

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